


Roadside Medical Advice

by The Monster Lady (VisceraNight)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, F/F, Humor, I Write Dumb Things Sometimes and This Is One of Them, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/The%20Monster%20Lady
Summary: Sketchy medical statistics told to you by villains on the street are apparently all to takes to get you out of your clothes.
Relationships: Harleen Quinzel/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Roadside Medical Advice

~ Roadside Medical Advice ~

You're just an average citizen of Gotham, walking down the street, minding your own business. You don't even notice that your thong is showing above the waistband of your jeans until someone else points it out.

Unfortunately for you, that person happens to be the infamous Harley Quinn, who hails you with a cheerful and mildly concerned shout of "HEY! YOUR THONG IS SHOWING!"

You let out an awkward laugh and mumble "thanks" as you hastily stuff the wayward garment back down under your pants where it belongs.

Apparently Harley isn't finished with you yet, though.

"Hey," she says. "Did you know that wearing thongs is one of the top causes of yeast infections?"

You did not know that. And also...

"Aren't you like... a psychologist or something? Not a medical doctor?"

She brightens up considerably at being asked this.

"Most people don't even remember I'm any kind of doctor at all!"

She's grinning, and you'e giving an awkward smile, wondering when she's going to leave. She might be one of the city's kinder and slightly less destructive villains, but she's still... you know... not exactly stable, and having her _like_ you could be more hazardous to your health than having her not notice you at all.

"So anyway, as I was saying..." Harley pauses briefly, giving you just enough time to regret every decision you've ever made in your life which has led you to this point, before she continues: "So why don't you come to my place, where you can get out of that thong?"

Then she winks at you. And you realize that the whole thong thing is a pick-up line. It's a terrible pick-up line and it shouldn't work on anyone.

But you find yourself getting into the car with her anyway...

~end~


End file.
